Dear Olivia,

Last night we went and saw Christmas lights. Considering you are only 4 months old I think you liked it! You just stared up at the lights. Your little eyes filled with wonder! I loved it! We even let you sit in the front seat with us while we slowly drove through the park! You are so stinking adorable! We got out and walked around and your Mom forgot a hat for you! So I took off my scarf and wrapped it around your head. You looked pretty cute and hopefully you were warm because I was freezing! :)

I love you so much beautiful girl! I can't wait to spend your first Christmas with you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Liv,

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written you. I am so sorry baby girl. I will try and be better about writing you more often!

Liv I can't even explain how much happiness you have brought into our lives. You smile all the time and every time it just makes your Dad and I happy. There have been days where your cute smile is about the only thing that keeps me going! But things are getting easier. You are getting older #1 which means you don't eat as often. Also, you are less breakable so Bently isn't such a threat. #2 I've been working on your sleep patter and we're slowly getting there. You nap in your own bed about 90% of the time now which is amazing. You still sleep with us at night but I'm planning on working on that during my vacation in January! :)

It hit me the other day that I really have a daughter. I know that sounds weird but it's just all so surreal. I can't believe that I have a little girl! I get so excited as you get older. I can't wait to see your littler personality even more! I can't wait to watch you and Bently together! I hope you guys are best friends!

This is kind of a scatter brained letter. I'm just going to make a random list of things I think you should know or might be interesting later. :)

#1 Like I said before your adorable smile. Seriously so cute1
#2 You can now hold things and put them in your mouth and you are pro at hitting the dangling elmo and big bird from your toy.
#3 You are now big enough that I can hold you on my hip and you keep your own head up!
#4 Your hair is mostly gone but don't worry you are still so cute! I'm not going to lie though I dream of the day when I can put your hair in pigtails. To be honest I think your dad is more excited than me! ;) He thinks little girls in pigtails are the cutest! :)
#5 You still have that baby smell and I love it!
#6 You still spit up but not as much as you used to for which I am super grateful!
#7 You fit into 6 month clothing even though you are only 4 months old. I was freaking out because you didn't have any clothing and then when I realized you fit into 6 month clothes your wardrob has like tripled. One drawer is not enough for you anymore! :)
#8 You are REALLY big for you age. At your 4 month appointment you were in the 90th percentile for both height and weight. :)
#9 You sat in the shopping cart for the first time this past week! You loved it. You REALLY hate your carseat.
#10 Your first Christmas is coming up and I can hardly wait. Seriously I can't even explain how magical it's going to be. I wish you could remember it. I can hardly wait!

Love,
Mom

Dear Olivia,

So I took my days off and tried to work on the sleeping thing. The first day I tried to make it work I made sure to give you naps every 1 1/2-2 hours you napped fine. But your last nap ended at like 6. Well by the time I was able to get you in bed it was 9:30. I think you were overly tired by that point because you just screamed and screamed every time I put you down. I think if I could've gotten you in bed on time it would have worked out. I am just super frustrated because I'm working so much overtime I don't have the chance to get you on a good schedule. I just feel so lost on what to do. I don't want you to be a sleep deprived baby all your life! I guess I'll just keep trying to find a schedule that works. Wish me luck beautiful girl!

Love,
Mom

Dear Olivia,

I love you my child. You are adorable and sweet and I just love you to pieces. With that said however, you are SO demanding. You insist on being held 24/7! You cry the minute you are out of our arms. But then we pick you up and you immediately are fine. This makes it super impossible to get anything done. Then of course when you let us put you down your brother insists on sitting on you or climbing on you or putting his fingers down your throat. Maybe that's why you insist on being held all the time! ;) On top of all of this you do not sleep well. Night times you do okay. It takes a long time to get you to sleep but then you only wake up once or twice a night for which I am grateful! But you are not a good napper during the day. You take like 15 minute naps. Miraculously the other day you took a 2 hour nap! And you were sleeping in your crib! It was a miracle and I was shocked at how much I was able to get done. I love you my Livvy girl! You are worth all the hard work.
Love,
Mom

Dear Olivia,

I can't believe I didn't write you a letter the minute it happened. You have started rolling over! I think I'm in denial about how old you are. I keep thinking you are much to young to do these things but here you are! Rolling and laughing! I can't even believe it! First all you could do was roll from your stomach to your back. I was pleased with that and thought it would be a long while before you rolled from back to stomach. But you my little dear are always surprising your Mom. Like 3 days later you rolled from your back to stomach! I was amazed. You roll all the time from your back to stomach now. Actually you get stuck like that most of the time. You seem to forget that you can roll back to your back. You just arch your body and scream your head off till I finally roll you back.

Speaking of rolling... Yesterday I had you laying on the bed and I may have forgotten that you knew how to roll now. I heard the thud and immediately knew what happened. You cried so hard and I cried with you apologizing over and over again for being so stupid. Even though you are my second kid it sure as heck doesn't make me perfect! :(

I want to thank you. Tonight I came home from work for a break and you just smiled and smiled at me. I loved every second of it! Bently never has been super attached to us (your dad and I). At least not until recently. But you are. You are most happy when one of us is holding you and smile for us the most! You sure make us feel loved and important!

Love,
Mom

Dear Olivia,

Last year I took Bently up the road to Mueller Park to walk around in the leaves. It was October and everything was so beautiful. I remember having a hard day that day. I was so ready to have our next baby. But I decided to focus on just enjoying Benlty. I tried, but I'm not sure I succeeded. I never want you to doubt how wanted and loved you are. You were seriously a miracle in my life. You brought with you so much happiness and hope for your Dad and I. This year I went to the leaves again. With both of my beautiful children. I couldn't help but be truly and completely happy. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you my Livvy girl! You are such a cutie. I am continually grateful for you!
Love,
Mom

Dear Olivia,

Yesterday you had your first trip to intacare and it was all my fault. I was trying to readjust you while nursing and I pulled on your arm. I heard a pop and you started to scream! I knew immediately what I had done and felt so bad! So off we rushed to instacare. Thank goodness they weren't busy. The took us right back and popped your elbow back into place. I hated that I had caused you to be in pain! It was awful and I had to stop myself from crying. I felt like the world's worst mother. I'm just glad my baby girl is okay now!

On a happier note yesterday marks the one year from when we found out we were having you! I took the fateful pregnancy test on 11/5/12. I am so grateful I have you baby girl! You are seriously one of the best things that has ever happened to me! You make me smile every single day. I love you more than you will ever be able to understand!

Love,
Mom