Real Life. That is what I am living. Well I guess that's what we're all living. :) When I imagined growing up, getting married, having children, I expected the fairy tale. Adoring husband, perfectly behaved children, white picket fence, of course I would be a stay at home mom, and the house would be spotless and smell of chocolate chip cookies. This is not my reality. My reality right now, today, is as follows. Husband is sick, throwing up every hour or so. Livvy is teething and is crying and wanting to be held almost constantly. Also not napping. Bently is adorable and is such a trooper for taking the back seat. The house is a mess. Seriously. Dishes are stacked everywhere, the family room floor needs to be vaccumed, badly. The bathroom is starting to look like a public bathroom (eww), and the list could go on and on. The kia needs an oil change, but we're out of money for this pay period. I am trying to clean and cook and take care of 2 crying kids (yes one of those is daddy! ;) Plus working full time. I am currently living off of 4 hours of broken sleep and it's making me extra emotional! I sat here at work thinking of all the things I had to do and feeling very overwhelmed. I suffer with comparing my life to others. I want that picture perfect life I dreamed about as a child. I want to be home all the time with my babies, I want to buy a house and fill it to the brim with memories. As I sat, wallowing in self pity, I realized, this is real life. No one, NO ONE, has the perfect life. All lives are filled with trials and sorrows. I guess what I am trying to say, is when you grow up, get married, have babies, don't be surprised if it's not exactly how you pictured it. If you don't have the nicest furniture, or a full set of matching dishes, or a house. Don't feel overwhelmed when the dishes pile up in the sink and the children are screaming and you make waffles for dinner because frankly, you barley had time to do that. Because I learned today, I need to enjoy these moments. The moments when my kids are little, where I am a 911 dispatcher and have the opportunity, every single day to help someone. The time where your Dad gets to be home, to share in special memories with you. There is so much beauty in my life. Bently and Olivia, you guys are a big majority of that beauty. You and your Dad. You guys are my happiness, my happily ever after. You make every single day amazing. I have so much to be grateful for and I truly feel like I am living my fairy tale. Sure it has it's downs and twist and turns, but how boring would your story be if it was perfect? I guess this long rambling letter is just to tell you, life isn't always perfect. It hardly ever turns out how you plan, and that is ok. Because you can do hard things. You can overcome and move on, and become a better person because of what you've been through. Trust in the Lord and his plan and his timing and all will be okay in the end. I promise.
I love you both so much. Thank you for your smiles and endless hugs and kisses. I can't get enough of my adorable babies!
Love,
Your very tired and rambling Mom.
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